SkylineGate: An Exclusive Interview With New Era

Earlier today, New Era released their annual NFL Draft hat. This year’s hat features the name of the city and a picture of that team’s city skyline on the inside of the brim. Pretty cool addition, unless you’re cool like me and leave the stickers on your hat so everyone knows how new it is. How are people gonna see my sticker with that huge skyline shit on the brim? Fuck outta here!

So tonight while watching a recorded episode of dancing with the stars, I received 2 texts that peaked (piqued?) my interest.

An exclusive interview with a super secret New Era inside source: 

JA: Tell me a little bit about yourself without giving away your identity. 

New Era Guy: I’m a high level executive for the company. Most of my time is spent pool side in my jeans once the tarps come off.

JA: Wearing jeans at the pool, seems hot….

New Era Guy: It can get pretty hot, especially when there aren’t any fans around.

JA: Speaking of not having any fans around, lets talk about the Jaguars for a minute. I’m sure by now you’ve seen how many lives you’ve wrecked by fucking up the skyline on the new draft hat for the Jaguars, right? 

New Era Guy: I’m a very calculated guy. I was assigned as lead designer for the draft hat project this year. I wanted to do something that would really help EXPLODE our brand on social media. I run a number of parody accounts on twitter, primarily to troll Jaguars fans. I knew this would ruffle their feathers.

JA: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me you did this on-purpose? 

New Era Guy: Bet your sweet ass I did. Like I said, I’m a very calculated guy. RIP your mentions.

There you have it folks. This was a publicity stunt to capture the masses of Jaguars twitter. I’d say point goes to New Era on this one.

Sure seems like a real waste of time to get your panties wadded up over a skyline that wont be yours much longer, after you move to London. Just bend the bill asshole, everything will be fine.

Here’s what your hat should look like if you ask Darren Page: 

Editor’s note: This was clearly not a real interview and it’s not even a real article, if you think about it. For more info on SkylineGate and real Jaguars news/updates, check out our friends over at Big Cat Country.


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